


Mother was always right, right?

by strkville



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Blood and Gore, Child Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not Beta Read, The Author Regrets Nothing, Weapons, im so sorry, it doesn't end well, someone give hinata a hug pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strkville/pseuds/strkville
Summary: Mother always did this because she loved me and aren't Mother's always right?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Mother was always right, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of Haikyuu angst week: "Was I ever enough?"

Mother always said I could never be the best volleyball player, let alone be a player. She would always tell me that its because I'm too short. Back then, I didn't know why she opposed to me playing volleyball or any other sports. She said it would hurt me and that she did it because she loved me. 

She would get furious whenever she sees me near a volleyball, it's like she turned into this horrifying demon that only appears in a child's nightmare. She would raise her hand, like a demon king raising it's sword, and whacked it across my cheeks. It would leave a red mark, staining my fair skin. I always wondered why but she always told me it's because she loved me. I foolishly believed her back then, like the foolish six-year-old I was. 

I wasn't enough then, that's why I was punished.

Koji and Izumi would often ask about the poorly applied bandages or the red mark on my skin but I always laugh it off as a act of clumsiness. They, thankfully, didn't question it further. Sometimes, the pain would linger on too much and too painfully that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. It was horrible but Mother said it was to make me stronger, more confident and she's always right. 

After Natsu was born, she seems to tolerate her. By then, I was eight. I had at least some self awareness that Mother didn't like me, at all. Father was away on his millionth business trip in New York while Mother took advantage of the time to make me her slave. I was ordered to cook, clean, care for Natsu. Mother would either just sit infront of the TV with a beer bottle or work at her club as a performer. I wasn't allowed to watch TV, play volleyball, or even contact Father. If I did any, I would get punished. She said it's because she loved me, but I think that she didn't. 

After some time, she started attacking Natsu too. If I'm not at school, I would always take the slaps, punches, kick or more in her stead. After all, I'm her big brother. The bandages now were more proper, looking as if a nurse had applied it and the red marks grew. I even had a few scars. I always thought those as my battlescars, pardon my childish imagination. It never really got to be used.

I was too busy being enough to satisfy Mother that night to ever use my imagination.

I don't know when, but I'm happy that it happened but Koji had come over to my house with the promise that I'll be able to catch up on school work. See, I've been missing school in order to shield Natsu from Mother. Mother seems to be more angry nowadays as Father was coming home less often. First it was empty beer bottles, then it was a glass shards, then an iron club, then a knife. I didn't know what to do then, with Mother looming over me with a knife. Her eyes shone with murderous intent. She had held down my shoulders with nails hammered into my shirt and a tape over my mouth. 

The doorbell had rung, which Mother scoffed at. She ripped out the nails and tape with a short order to answer the door. I had scrambled to my feet with an desperate desire to get out of here. I ran to the door, more like limped though, Mother did twist my ankle fairly harshly. I think I was 14 here, just before my time at Karasuno starts. I vividly remembered the way Koji's pupils expand tenfold as he took in my current state. I had a red mark running across my face from the tape, my ankle was twisted weirdly, I had dried blood on my forehead and my shirt was tattered with holes. My bright orange hair had lost it shine long ago, now looking like a dull and old tangerine.

So I wasn't enough to satisfy her then, when she had dragged me into her bedroom. 

He had dragged me outside and sat me on the house's steps. He took a glance at me and called his mother. Mrs. Sekimukai was a very kind lady with a talent in making taiyaki. I always loved her treats, especially those chocolate, caramel ice cream combo. He had stepped away, his face housing a stern frown and angry eyes. I didn't understand why he was angry, after all I was only receiving Mother's punishment. I had broken a rule, it only was natural. 

All I remembered after that was me sitting in the kitchen of Mrs. Sekimukai, the place where she created those godly takiyakis as she fed me a bowl of Tamago Kake Gohan and a plate of meat buns. I slowly ate as Mrs. Sekimukai explained why it was not natural. I listened to her with a empty heart. I didn't know what to believe now. Mother had said she did it because she loved me and wanted to raise me right. But Mrs. Sekimukai said that no loving Mother would ever pin her son to the ground with nails and a knife over his head. That a Mother would never make her son do harsh chores and be forced to endure beatings after beatings. 

I mustn't be enough then, for her to still punish me, maybe if I had force myself to go on longer then she'll be satisfied.

I had wondered, once again, what was going to happen to me. Father was away with no knowledge of this while Natsu and Mother was back at home. Natsu was stuck with the demon. I wanted to rush home, to be by Natsu in case she ever lay her hands on her. I'll be damned if his little sister was targeted too. But Mrs. Sekimukai reassured him that the cops were that, that her husband was there and Koji was busy dragging Izumi from his house. 

Tears had started flowing by then and Mrs. Sekimukai was beside me in an instant with a bunch of tissues. This motion felt unfamiliar at that time, It felt unnatural. The warmth, the comfort, the sense of homeyness I've feel from her was different to Mother's. 

So it must've meant that I wasn't enough for Mother to show me this type of warmth. Besides, all i got was harsh grips and slams onto the soft mattress.

I was able to be relaxed, I didn't have to be on guard, I didn't have to be on the lookout for Mother. I rubbed my bloodied hands against my eyes in an attempt to get rid of the tears but it only flow faster. But Mrs. Sekimukai was there, ready to show a sense of warmth that I craved so much.

After that, I discovered that Mother had fled and had divorced Father a long time ago. Natsu and I was then taken in by Koji's family and for once, I felt pure joy. When I was in the court room as they announced that I would be living with them, I felt happy tears flow down my clean cheeks for once. I thought to myself, that I was finally free. 

Even if I hadn't been enough to satisfy her the night before.

So why? Why was I now laying in the bathroom of Karasuno with a half of my insides ripped out. Why? Everything had been going so well save for a few nightmares. Natsu had started school with Koji's little sister and I soon didn't feel the need to protect her as fiercely as before. 

I was taking a small bathroom break before volleyball pratice starts when I saw Mother again. She stood in the last stall with it's door unlocked. She held a knife, with a crazy grin and the same murderous eyes. She then proceed to slam my head into the edge of the sink, causing a cut to form and blood to gush out. 

With a hazy conscious, I saw her use the knife and stabbed me before dragging the knife down to where my male parts was. Blood trickled out of my mouth like a garden hose expelling water. I felt her bare hands go inside my abdomen as she ripped out my stomach and whatever else it went with it. The pain was excruciating, I had finally understood what people on the screen meant when they said they felt their insides had been ripped out. 

She then left, leaving me in a bloodied mess on the dirty bathroom floor. I don't know how long it's been but I know that time is slowly trickling away. Guess I never got to fulfill my dream of being a professional volleyball player. Or win a official match. I never even got to wear the Karasuno jersey. I'll never say goodbye to Natsu. 

Ah, now I remember. I remember how she would beat me till there's no tomorrow, even if I had followed all the rules. She had been drunk and was incredibly angry. I wonder, will I ever been enough to satisfy her?

Why does the gods hate me? Did i do something in my past life to deserve this kind of retribution? God, my consciousness was fading. Are those footsteps I hear? Well, they sound angry. It might be too late though, as my heart had already stopped beating. 


End file.
